The Kim Kardashian Konspiracy (Like How I Used the K, Right?)

Beware the real KKK.

Whenever I log into WordPress, I see a little bit of information on my dashboard known as “stats.” This tells me how many people visit my blog on a daily basis, as well as gives me information on what search terms were used to find my blog. And to my surprise, it wasn’t my article on legalizing gay marriage, fascism, or bipartisan politics and its effects on society. No. The highest amount of searches were for Kim Kardashian.

Welcome to hell. Population: all of you.

It saddens me that I have to log onto Huffington Post and see an article written about her bowling or being spray painted gray by W magazine whilst naked. But where is all of this coming from? Why are people so intrigued with Kim Kardashian?

Well at first I figured it was some form of government conspiracy. You see, Kim Kardashian has a contract with the government to distract the masses with her natural implied sexiness so when November comes around no one will be paying attention to the widening inequality/gains on Wall Street/anything intelligent. Not only is Kim Kardashian’s body a device to win Super Bowls and keep the palms of 12 year old boys hairy, but she also is a government tool sent to destroy us. Think of her as The Terminator. Here are some eery similarities:

And in true form:

 

See what I mean? And then there was news that she and her sisters were coming out with some sort of “Kardashian Kredit Kard” which aligns pretty well with my theory. What do you think?

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3 thoughts on “The Kim Kardashian Konspiracy (Like How I Used the K, Right?)

  1. LOL I disagree, the Saints won the Superbowl because they were a GREAT team. lol it had nothing to do with kim k. she started dating miles austin and they had the worst start in cowboys franchise history. And the media period is a means of distracting the masses. kim not the only one lol

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