F-You, You Hypocritical Bastards!

mikeI am SERIOUSLY in the mood to bitch slap some bitches. I found out some really horrible news that I thought would tide over. But of course it wouldn’t because our society is retarded. Anyway, Michael Phelps lost his endorsement with Kellogg and has been suspended from USA Swimming for three months without pay. USA Swimming released the following statement: 
“This is not a situation where any anti-doping rule was violated, but we decided to send a strong message to Michael because he disappointed so many people, particularly the hundreds of thousands of USA Swimming member kids who look up to him as a role model and a hero. Michael has voluntarily accepted this reprimand and has committed to earn back our trust.”

The photo of Michael Phelps smoking out of a bong has gotten so out of hand that our Dolphin-god may consider not participating in the 2012 Olympics. SEE!!!! ARE YOU HAPPY NOW AMERICA?!?!?! NOW CHINA HAS THE UPPER HAND AGAIN!!!! DAMMIT!!!!

Michael told the Baltimore Sun, “This is a decision of mine that I’m not going to make today and I’m not going to make tomorrow. It’s going to require a lot of time and energy and a lot of thinking for myself – but also talking to Bob and talking to my family and just deciding what I want to do. If I decide to walk away, I’ll decide to walk away on my own terms. If it’s now, if it’s four years, who knows. But it is something I need to think about and decide what I want to do.”

I’m so angry I could scream right now. Would all this shit be happening if he were binge-drinking all night? NO. Michael Phelps getting a DUI (like he did a few years back) was an outrage because peole could have been hurt. But no. He smokes a little bit of weed and no one got hurt. This is what I mean about the American media being incredibly stupid. What is so newsworthy about this story? We are a nation of hypocrites. Over 90 million Americans have dabbled in the green — shit, some of them probably work for Kellogg.

And I know what you’re thinking. But GRLBHVINGBADLY, we have to think of the children! Yeah, we should. And you know how we should think of the children? We should act like fucking adults around them and educate them about these things. No, children should not be smoking weed. And if you’re a good parent, you would fucking tell your kid that instead of relying on Michael Phelps everyday behavior to raise your child for you. Yes, instead of kids being raised by televisions they’re being raised by pictures on the internet. And once again parents fail to regulate what their children see and read and because of this PHELPS gets punished for it. Great job America.

On a lighter note, I’m posting this vid in support of Michael Phelps. And if you don’t like it — go drink a few gallons of alcohol, beat the shit out of your wife in front of your son Timmy, then turn around in an outrage when his favorite swimmer has a photo of him smoking pot. Asshole.

Oh, and to the person who submitted the picture in the first place: your mom should have swallowed you. Dick.

After a post like this, I should be lighting up right about now…


2 thoughts on “F-You, You Hypocritical Bastards!

  1. Hear, hear. I don’t even smoke and I want to light up for Phelps. People in this country have their priorities all wrong….

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