Michael Phelps is a Pothead

Now I can buy a Dolphin bong and name it after him!

Now I can buy a Dolphin bong and name it after him!

If you already don’t know, Dolphin god Michael Phelps has recently  come under fire for a picture of him taking a bong hit at a friend’s place at USC (no, not Cali, the shitty GameCOCKS) And my god, people are outraged!

The double-bagger (haha) apologized for his ‘outrageous’ behavior. Phelps released the following statement to the AP:

“I engaged in behavior which was regrettable and demonstrated bad judgment,” Phelps said in the statement released by one of his agents. “I’m 23 years old and despite the successes I’ve had in the pool, I acted in a youthful and inappropriate way, not in a manner people have come to expect from me. For this, I am sorry. I promise my fans and the public it will not happen again.”

You know that dumb bitch Elizabeth Hassel..bitch? Yeah, she basically said that this was a gateway drug and he could possibly start doping himself up with steroids. I would rant about her comment, but I realize I may as well cut out a chunk of brain and feed it to her.

Back to the bong. Anyway, some nosy ho  told Star Magazine:

At one point someone asked him if he wanted to smoke some weed. Michael didn’t hesitate and headed to a small back room, where he was immediately handed a big red bong. He grabbed the bong and a lighter and ripped a huge smelly bong rip. He knew exactly what he was doing. He looked just as natural with a bong in his hands as he does swimming the backstroke.”

This couldn’t be more awesome! But of course some of his endorsers aren’t too happy with this and are worried about the message this will send to the kids (although the last time I checked, Michael Phelps is not responsible for raising for your child–ZING!).  Many feel that he will receive a public slap on the wrist because at least he wasn’t shooting “performance enhancers” into his asscheeks. Plus, it’s not like anyone’s drug testing him anytime soon.

So thank you American Media for wasting our time with this story. He’s 23 and he smoked weed. So have 90 million other Americans. Next!

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4 thoughts on “Michael Phelps is a Pothead

  1. dude who cares. hes still young. america needs to take off their delusional glasses and wake up to see ppl are going to do what they want regardless.

  2. I always thought Phelps was hot … even before the Olympics 4 years ago but this picture makes him look SO MUCH HOTTER. Not that that matters, but I said the same thing when I saw it … the Olympics aren’t for another few years and who cares what he does till then. Whoever submitted the picture is a fucking jackass and should be deported from this country — even if they are a natural born citizen…EIGHT fucking gold medals. Who cares about some bong rips? Especially if he can hit that shit like a champ.

  3. Haha people are such idiots. They should STFU because he made our country look badass in the summer. He IS human, not a dolphin. I thought that was just a metaphor, but apparently people really do not think he is human? I can see the endorsements and setting a bad example and such. But still. He has to deal with the crazy pressure somehow, I suppose!

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